When Nothing Is Happening, Is Something Brewing?

Sometimes nothing is really going on in life. I mean yea, I have a baby growing at an alarming rate inside of me... but really no major events have taken place. 

This makes me wonder, if something is "coming". 

Do you ever feel that way? Like, wait a second... there should be something happening. Suspicious. 

This leads me to believe that something big is fixing to happen. Or is it? I mean, we have been going through major life changes pretty much since we got married (btw our anniversary is coming up). Where's the other shoe? 

All I can say is pleeeeeeaaaase don't let it be something horrible. lol. I don't know if this is a pregnancy thing or not, but I have found myself preparing for the worst. I have had weird anxiety dreams about horrible awful bad things happening in our family. Can a girl just get in on some unicorn dreams? 

I think it's the Walking Dead. We have been watching season 2 on Netflix, are you caught up? No spoilers please! But let me know how you are liking it. 

Well, I guess this was one of those filler posts. One of those posts that don't and won't move mountains. But maybe I can look back on this post and be like, "See, here is where I predicted that big thing that happened." 

Also, would anyone be interested in reading what I have to say on couponing or marriage?

What I Would Give to Be a SAHM

I've been thinking a lot about daycare lately. Or where my baby will be spending the days while I'm at work. I'm realizing now, even before the baby is born, that I would give anything to be a stay-at-home-mom. Unfortunately, we can't seem to work the finances where that would be an option.

Maybe there is someone out there that can offer me some advice. Are you a working mother? What does your baby do while you're at work? Are you a SAHM? How did you decide that was the best for your family? Is it a big financial hardship?

I genuinely feel guilty already. The baby is growing so much, inside me, and I can't imagine how much they will grow when they're out! I just want to be the one that gets to love on them, teach them, be with them.

I'm praying... But maybe you have advice? Will you share your story with me?

My First Letter to Little One

Hey there Little One, 

I've had a lot going on lately, and so many emotions filling me this week. I HEARD your little heartbeat on Thursday. I didn't know it was going to affect me like it did. As soon as my midwife put the "heartbeat wand" (my definition, clearly.) on my belly, I heard your heart. It's good and strong, and so perfect. It took all of my strength not to break down and cry with joy in the appointment. 

Oh Little One, I hope you can feel how much love I already have for you. I'm crying like a baby just thinking about it. Until now, I didn't think I would ever love someone as much as I love your father, but I know now that I was wrong. I love you so much. 

I've had lots of morning sickness up until now. I'm so thankful that I'm getting a rest from that. I can hardly stand how bad I want to know if you are a boy or a girl. We find out next month. I think you're a girl, and Dad thinks you're a boy. We don't care either way, we just want you healthy. But if you are a girl, will you please be a no-drama type of girl? That's our my biggest fear, that you will be half as much drama as my sisters and I were. If you're a boy can you please refrain from being a 'typical boy' and peeing on me and everything? (That's what we are getting when people talk about their baby boys! They just say that they pee... on everything.)

I just talked to your Aunt Chelsey and she thinks you are a boy too. She says she wishes that you are a girl so that Tinley will have someone to play with. I told her that even if you are a boy, Tinley will still have a younger cousin to play with. There are lots of babies in our family, Little One. Aunt Chelsey and Tinley, Aunt Lindsay and her baby boy, cousin Jezzni and cousin Melissa! So many little playmates for you. Family gatherings are going to be so fun! 

I could go on and on with talking to you. Just know that I love you so deeply. I can't wait to have you in my arms, Little One. 

Love you, Little One. 

-Mom (Ahh!! That's the first time I referred to myself as "Mom"! Ahhhhh....)

My First Trimester

All that I can say is "phew! I'm glad it's almost over!"

Most of the time I haven't felt pregnant or I feel sick. (Lots of being sick).

I'm so blessed to have a husband that feeds the dogs for me (because the smell absolutely makes me gag), he makes the occasional dinner, takes out the trash, and does the dishes! Can we say that I won the lottery with this guy?!

But on a more serious note, I've decided that I'm switching doctors. I've only had one appointment, but I felt uncomfortable from the get-go.

I'm switching to a midwife! This is something that I'm beyond excited about, so excited that I'm going to write an ENTIRE blog post about it. ;)

Here's a little graphic I made for my first trimester.

Of course there had to be more to say on the "first trimester" matter. But really, it all sounds like complaining. I mean am I right?

Have you ever heard a woman say, "Man! This is the best trimester! I feel great! Unicorns! Rainbows!"
Nope? I didn't think so.

There is only one thing I know for sure. I'm getting fatter, and I'm so enjoying this process and the knowledge that comes with it. I can feel my heart swelling for this baby. I feel so connected, like this is exactly what I'm made for... caring for this baby.

Many hugs!
Kylee

How We Told Facebook About The Baby

We just added this photo to our timeline. It's pretty much the only way we would release news. We are dorks. 

The Day We Found Out We Are Pregnant

source

Yep, we are pregnant. Currently I'm about 9 weeks pregnant.

You know how when God is trying to tell you something is about to happen by giving you warning signs? Well He knows that I need these warning signs to learn anyways.

I quit my job a week before we found out. We didn't tell my family or anyone for that matter that I was quitting because well I hated it and that was enough for me and Jacob. The warning sign was when I told my sister, Charyse that I had quit my job she said, "I hope you're not pregnant!". That made a little light go off in my head (PING!). But I was only one or two days late. I couldn't be pregnant. We are VERY careful, have been for 3 years.

The second warning sign was when I went to the store with Jacob and said, "Oh, I need to get girly supplies."
His response was, "Why? You're pregnant."

We took the pregnancy the same week. The first one we tried was one of those two pink lines ones. Well there was one really dark line and a VERY faint pink second line. I convinced myself that it was negative. Directly after taking that test, Jacob and I were talking (well he was talking-- I was crying).

My mom called right then. (How does she know!?) It wasn't for that reason.

My dad was in the hospital. She needed me to drive her to her house to get clothes, they didn't know how long they were going to be there. (EEErrrch? You mean it's THAT serious?).

I left shortly after that to drive her. Jacob was left thinking about the possibility that we were pregnant, and I was left with the same thought just clouded by what my dad was going through.

When I returned the same evening, Jacob was waiting with a digital pregnancy test. "Pee on this one."

I did. I couldn't look. A lot had happened that day and I didn't know if I could even read.

"Pregnant" it read.

I was elated, mostly scared (I mean- I didn't have a job and talk about bad timing!), but I was happy too. We have wanted to be parents since day one, given we definitely didn't plan on it, but blessing all the same.

We told my mom the same day, really within the same couple of hours, that my family found out that my dad had cancer.

It's funny how things work out.

I was feeling such a mixture of emotions. I felt guilty for being so happy that we were having a baby and simultaneously feeling horrible for my dad.

Stage three cancer, 5 weeks pregnant. That's all I could think about.

I think that this has really increased my faith. Praying everyday for a faith, healing, and favor for both my dad and praying for health for my sweet baby. Praying that He doesn't take either one from us. 

I'm faithful for the healthy baby. I'm faithful that God is going to heal my dad.

I Revived My Blog... Sorta

Well, I let my domain name expire and then some Japanese company (?) took it over. So I'm back to good ol' .blogspot.

It's been a long time since I've blogged. And I should probably say why. It's just that I don't really have a reason. I just didn't blog. I got busy and left it alone. Now I'm less busy, and I want to get back to it.

I will catch up on what's happened here at our house my next post, but for now I want to go and read everyone else's blog!